Friends in "low" places

You know that country song by the infamous Garth Brooks, that says "I've got friends in low places...?" Well, that is the mantra for the way I've been feeling lately, and it has been such a blessing. A few days ago a dear friend who has been calling me, and asking how I've been feeling, and crying on the phone with me, asked me if I would like to go to breakfast. We live about an hour and a half apart from each other, so we decided that meeting half way would work, and yesterday she and I met and had the best breakfast I've had in a long time. It was the best not only because the food was awesome, but because she truly wanted to spend time with me, and to let me share my heart. We didn't just talk about Cam's upcoming surgery, we talked about life, and about our kids crazy antics. It was a nice distraction. I even made it through the entire breakfast without shedding a tear, until we started talking about Cam and this upcoming journey. But the most beautiful thing, and one of the most selfless things another person can do is to join you in those fears, and that is exactly what she did. So we sat and we cried together. It was so helpful for me, not only to cry.... but to be joined by a friend who really does care. During that time she also shared something that just really warmed my heart. She told me that she has been praying for God to show her how to be the kind of friend that I need right now. That was just precious to me. You see sometimes during things like this, your friends dissipate. They seem to disappear, and a game of hide and seek goes on until things are more back to normal and you aren't as "needy." I get it. I really do. It's easier to be friends with people that aren't facing struggle. It's easier to continue on in your everyday routine and try not to think about the hardships that your friends may be going through. I'm guilty of this as well. Not so much since Cameron came along, but guilty non the less. Don't get me wrong, I have several friends who call me, text me, send me funny little messages that make me laugh, and that offer continuous support, but then there are those friends that don't know what to say, and that just kind of ignore the situation, and wait until everything is over. Like I said before, I get it. It's not easy being friends with a mom of a special needs kid. We are always facing some kind of battle that unless you are also a parent of a special kiddo then you just can't relate. That's frustrating sometimes I'm sure. Being a friend is hard work, and unless the person means that much to you, sometimes it's easier to just be the kind of friend that's there when things are good. You see in true friendship it is a selfless, beautiful relationship that sometimes goes through rocky moments, but that is always met back up with endless love and support. I have always wanted to be a good friend. I have always wanted to make sure that my friends know how much they mean to me and that I would be glad to anything they needed. I truly do love being there for others, and I am grateful to do it. So sometimes I do get sad when I'm in a crisis such as this and I feel so lonely, because it's easier for others to just not have to deal with my "neediness" than to embrace it. But not this week. This week I needed a friend and without me even having to ask for one she was there. So for that I'm grateful.  

We are three weeks out from our December 1st departure date. It seems like forever and not long enough all at the same time. I am trying to tie everything up. Insurance is always a pain and usually isn't worked out until last minute, which just adds to my endless list of stress. And then there is the quarantine thing. Since the boys have been battling colds/fevers they haven't been in school this week, and since Friday was going to be their last day anyway, we have just decided to keep them home from now on. Keeping Cameron well until surgery is so very important, and since it's right in the middle of cold season, school is just a smorgasbourge of germs.... and I would rather be safe than sorry. I hate that for the boys though because they love school so very much. They are both always so excited to go to school and to be with their friends. But I just keep telling myself this is temporary and hopefully we will be home and the boys will be ready to head back to school after Christmas break!

I'm finding myself less and less sick to my stomach everyday. I am still full of anxiety, but I have been able to control some of that with rationale and wine :) I know that God already knows this outcome. He has seen this through and is ready to stand beside us as we venture through it as well. It doesn't make my heart ache any less when I let my mind think about what is coming, but it has been providing some peace during this time of desperation. I have had the awesome opportunity in the past few weeks to talk to some college classes that a friend of mine teaches. The class is about Cultural competency, and I come in to talk about individuals with physical and developmental differences not only from my personal experience but also in my professional as well. I get to share about Cameron and how we have faced adversity, and I also get to talk about the individuals I have had the privilege of working with, and how all anyone that has a physical or developmental difference wants is to be treated like everyone else. It's a simple human desire to be "included" and "loved" and it is such an honor for me to be able to help spread that message. Also anytime I get the chance to share our story with others it gives me a sense of pride and wonder for the family and life that I have, because setting aside all of our crazy life drama, we are so very, very blessed. Paul and I have a marriage that will last until forever, and we have two beautiful boys that are just so incredible and wonderful, each in their own way, and we have a house over our head, and food in our bellies. Because of the love and support from our family, friends, and community we are able to provide the best care for our precious boy, and because of our love for the Lord, we know that this is all in his time, and in his perfect plan. I know this and I know it's true, but sometimes it's so hard to have this unwavering faith that convinces me that all is going to be ok. It's just hard!

For those of you that follow and are reading my updates, there are some specific prayer requests I would love to ask you to pray for. Right now Cameron is still battling a cold and so is Max, so please pray for quick, complete healing. Also please continue your prayers for Paul and I as well. We have a lot to coordinate for this trip, and as you could imagine it's quite stressful trying to plan a trip like this, and so we could use all the good thoughts/prayers/well wishes we can get! We know that your love and support is what gets us through, so please know how much they mean. Every phone call, text, dinner, and word of encouragement is graciously accepted and sometimes so desperately needed! Also we are so very grateful for everyone that has ordered a Warriors for Cam shirt. We only have two days left so if you haven't gotten one and you want one they will be available until Friday. We love ya'll and we appreciate your love as well!

Love,
P,J,C, and M