Thanks....GIVING!

Well I think we are maybe on the mend in the Elliott house! Cameron still has some wheezy lung sounds, and a low grade fever, but seems to be feeling much better, and his breathing is definitely better! So for that I'm grateful. As far as Boston goes, we still don't have an exact date, but they are thinking probably the week before Christmas. I can't say that that time frame doesn't completely suck, because well..... it does! But at this point, I am just 100% ready to have this surgery over and behind us, and if that means we spend Christmas in Boston, then that's what it means. Besides, through this journey with Cam, I've really come to appreciate what the holidays truly mean for us. Of course being in a hospital means that you aren't exactly the most healthy, but what the hospital means for us during times like this is hope. Without the surgery that Cam is going to have, his heart would eventually go into failure and he could die. Without the hospital that  supports these kids through surgeries like this, then surgeries like Cam's could come with a lot more risk, and issues. It's full circle, really. We are also trying to look at this as an adventure. We have never spent Christmas in Boston, and honestly Christmas to us is so much more than where we will be spending it. You see, after spending months in a NICU, and then spending the year on and off in a hospital, and then the next three years facing surgery after health issue, after surgery, we understand how blessed we are that this isn't the 4th year that we have spent in the hospital for Christmas, because we know that other families can't say that. We know that families around the world are spending Christmas and other holidays in the hospital with their children, and I guarantee they are just grateful that if they are spending Christmas in the hospital, that at least that means that their child is still alive. We also know that Jesus doesn't care where you celebrate his birth! So for all of those reasons, if Boston for Christmas is where we need to be, then that's where we will be!

Honestly I can't believe Thanksgiving is tomorrow. It seems like this month has flown by. There are so many things I'm grateful and thankful for. A month ago when we learned that Cam's heart would need to be operated on again and in the near future, I was crippled with fear. Not only about the fact that I would be sending him through open heart surgery again, and that in it of itself is terrifying, but everything else overwhelmed my heart as well. Where were we going to stay? How are we going to get there? Will we take Max? How will we afford to do all of this around the holidays? How will we afford another heart surgery? And the list goes on. But then God showed up! He showed up in each one of you that has given, and loved us, and prayed for us! We have been undeservedly blessed by generosity from our friends and family. We have had friends give us money, make us dinners, send encouraging cards, call and text us to let us know they were thinking and praying for us. We have had friends offer to help get the boys some Christmas presents so that we wouldn't have to choose between financially affording our trip or getting the boys some things for Christmas. We know that gifts are not what makes Christmas and that it's not even close to the most important part about this holiday, but our kids are still small, and they are so enthralled in the holiday spirit, and they know that Christmas along with learning about Christ's birth and his love for us,  also means a big guy in a red suite brings presents, and because of that it's ok that gifts are a part of Christmas, and because of our sweet, sweet beautiful  friends we won't have to have so much stress of being able to provide gifts for them and having to pay for such an expensive trip to Boston. It's just been precious and so, so humbling for us. And the most incredible part about all of that, is to know that they were thinking of us. That they love us that much, that they would take time out of their lives, and their own stressors, and that they would work so hard to bring us so many blessings. It really does mean more than we will ever be able to say, and for those of you that have contributed to encouraging us, and loving us through this time, please know how truly, truly grateful we are to each and everyone of you!

I would love to say that I'm not bitter anymore..... because I don't think I will ever truly have zero bitterness in my heart. It's the way I'm wired. As hard as I try not to feel the way I feel.....I still do. I have started reading a devotional that inspires me to stay positive, and for the most part I can honestly say I have been. Aside from yesterday, it has probably been a good week since I've just burst into tears, and yesterday it was because of another families misfortune that caused me to have a 20 minute tear fest! I am not brave. I wish with my core that I was. I wish that I could be strong and bold and have no doubt about this surgery and everything that goes along with it. But I can't. I'm weak. I have met brave parents. I have a sweet family that not only have I worked with them, but over the months they have become dear friends. Their daughter has spent her entire 6 months inside a hospital. She has overcome multiple obstacles, and she continues to beat the odds, and fight. Her mother, is my hero and when I think of Brave, I think of her. When I go to visit this sweet precious family, I see so much love and kindness. They love the Lord, and they know that even in the midst of the hard times that his will is shining through. They may not have been on their journey that long, but they are so inspirational, even for me... a seasoned vet in this type of setting! When I look at them, I am angry with myself for being so upset over this upcoming journey. For this moment I have Cameron at home, and aside from his recent illness he is wonderful. I know that our hospital experience will be hard and I shake when I think of putting my sweet Cam through that, but I also know deep down that he will overcome this, and he will be the Warrior Cam we all love!! So, I get angry, because I want so badly to be more grateful for what we do have instead of what I wish we had.

I see it everywhere, and I'm sure you do too..... the advertisements for all the great black Friday deals that will begin tomorrow night.... that's right, it's no longer good enough that we have one day where we try to celebrate our blessings, but that day now gets to be cut short, because there might be a t.v on sale at Walmart that you need to stand in line for 5 hours to get. Now don't get me wrong....I have been one of those folks that has gotten up at 4 am on Black Friday to then fight through enormous amounts of people to get the hug and snug Elmo for $19.99 as opposed to $39.99, but that is a thing of the past. I'm not saying that you shouldn't indulge in black Friday shopping, I'm not even saying that you are a horrible person if you give in to the mass media's ploy to get you into the stores on Thanksgiving Day, all I'm saying is that I would love to encourage you to spend a little extra time with your family. Make sure you really do look around at your many blessings, and that you cherish those that get to be with you, and that you think of others that may not be so fortunate this year. Being a mom to a kid like Cam, and then my experience of working with families whose children are hospitalized, it just brings so much perspective, and I really would just love to spread some of that to others that may not realize how truly blessed they are! I am one of those....I really intend on making sure that I enjoy this time I have with my family, and that I pray for those that aren't as fortunate. Please join me!!!

I will keep ya'll posted on our Boston status. Hopefully by next week we will know a more exact date! I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and again I just want to thank all of you that continue to love and pray for our family. I could not begin to imagine this process without your support, so again we are so grateful and deeply humbled. We love you all so very much!!!

Love,
p, j, c, and m