Thanks....GIVING!

Well I think we are maybe on the mend in the Elliott house! Cameron still has some wheezy lung sounds, and a low grade fever, but seems to be feeling much better, and his breathing is definitely better! So for that I'm grateful. As far as Boston goes, we still don't have an exact date, but they are thinking probably the week before Christmas. I can't say that that time frame doesn't completely suck, because well..... it does! But at this point, I am just 100% ready to have this surgery over and behind us, and if that means we spend Christmas in Boston, then that's what it means. Besides, through this journey with Cam, I've really come to appreciate what the holidays truly mean for us. Of course being in a hospital means that you aren't exactly the most healthy, but what the hospital means for us during times like this is hope. Without the surgery that Cam is going to have, his heart would eventually go into failure and he could die. Without the hospital that  supports these kids through surgeries like this, then surgeries like Cam's could come with a lot more risk, and issues. It's full circle, really. We are also trying to look at this as an adventure. We have never spent Christmas in Boston, and honestly Christmas to us is so much more than where we will be spending it. You see, after spending months in a NICU, and then spending the year on and off in a hospital, and then the next three years facing surgery after health issue, after surgery, we understand how blessed we are that this isn't the 4th year that we have spent in the hospital for Christmas, because we know that other families can't say that. We know that families around the world are spending Christmas and other holidays in the hospital with their children, and I guarantee they are just grateful that if they are spending Christmas in the hospital, that at least that means that their child is still alive. We also know that Jesus doesn't care where you celebrate his birth! So for all of those reasons, if Boston for Christmas is where we need to be, then that's where we will be!

Honestly I can't believe Thanksgiving is tomorrow. It seems like this month has flown by. There are so many things I'm grateful and thankful for. A month ago when we learned that Cam's heart would need to be operated on again and in the near future, I was crippled with fear. Not only about the fact that I would be sending him through open heart surgery again, and that in it of itself is terrifying, but everything else overwhelmed my heart as well. Where were we going to stay? How are we going to get there? Will we take Max? How will we afford to do all of this around the holidays? How will we afford another heart surgery? And the list goes on. But then God showed up! He showed up in each one of you that has given, and loved us, and prayed for us! We have been undeservedly blessed by generosity from our friends and family. We have had friends give us money, make us dinners, send encouraging cards, call and text us to let us know they were thinking and praying for us. We have had friends offer to help get the boys some Christmas presents so that we wouldn't have to choose between financially affording our trip or getting the boys some things for Christmas. We know that gifts are not what makes Christmas and that it's not even close to the most important part about this holiday, but our kids are still small, and they are so enthralled in the holiday spirit, and they know that Christmas along with learning about Christ's birth and his love for us,  also means a big guy in a red suite brings presents, and because of that it's ok that gifts are a part of Christmas, and because of our sweet, sweet beautiful  friends we won't have to have so much stress of being able to provide gifts for them and having to pay for such an expensive trip to Boston. It's just been precious and so, so humbling for us. And the most incredible part about all of that, is to know that they were thinking of us. That they love us that much, that they would take time out of their lives, and their own stressors, and that they would work so hard to bring us so many blessings. It really does mean more than we will ever be able to say, and for those of you that have contributed to encouraging us, and loving us through this time, please know how truly, truly grateful we are to each and everyone of you!

I would love to say that I'm not bitter anymore..... because I don't think I will ever truly have zero bitterness in my heart. It's the way I'm wired. As hard as I try not to feel the way I feel.....I still do. I have started reading a devotional that inspires me to stay positive, and for the most part I can honestly say I have been. Aside from yesterday, it has probably been a good week since I've just burst into tears, and yesterday it was because of another families misfortune that caused me to have a 20 minute tear fest! I am not brave. I wish with my core that I was. I wish that I could be strong and bold and have no doubt about this surgery and everything that goes along with it. But I can't. I'm weak. I have met brave parents. I have a sweet family that not only have I worked with them, but over the months they have become dear friends. Their daughter has spent her entire 6 months inside a hospital. She has overcome multiple obstacles, and she continues to beat the odds, and fight. Her mother, is my hero and when I think of Brave, I think of her. When I go to visit this sweet precious family, I see so much love and kindness. They love the Lord, and they know that even in the midst of the hard times that his will is shining through. They may not have been on their journey that long, but they are so inspirational, even for me... a seasoned vet in this type of setting! When I look at them, I am angry with myself for being so upset over this upcoming journey. For this moment I have Cameron at home, and aside from his recent illness he is wonderful. I know that our hospital experience will be hard and I shake when I think of putting my sweet Cam through that, but I also know deep down that he will overcome this, and he will be the Warrior Cam we all love!! So, I get angry, because I want so badly to be more grateful for what we do have instead of what I wish we had.

I see it everywhere, and I'm sure you do too..... the advertisements for all the great black Friday deals that will begin tomorrow night.... that's right, it's no longer good enough that we have one day where we try to celebrate our blessings, but that day now gets to be cut short, because there might be a t.v on sale at Walmart that you need to stand in line for 5 hours to get. Now don't get me wrong....I have been one of those folks that has gotten up at 4 am on Black Friday to then fight through enormous amounts of people to get the hug and snug Elmo for $19.99 as opposed to $39.99, but that is a thing of the past. I'm not saying that you shouldn't indulge in black Friday shopping, I'm not even saying that you are a horrible person if you give in to the mass media's ploy to get you into the stores on Thanksgiving Day, all I'm saying is that I would love to encourage you to spend a little extra time with your family. Make sure you really do look around at your many blessings, and that you cherish those that get to be with you, and that you think of others that may not be so fortunate this year. Being a mom to a kid like Cam, and then my experience of working with families whose children are hospitalized, it just brings so much perspective, and I really would just love to spread some of that to others that may not realize how truly blessed they are! I am one of those....I really intend on making sure that I enjoy this time I have with my family, and that I pray for those that aren't as fortunate. Please join me!!!

I will keep ya'll posted on our Boston status. Hopefully by next week we will know a more exact date! I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and again I just want to thank all of you that continue to love and pray for our family. I could not begin to imagine this process without your support, so again we are so grateful and deeply humbled. We love you all so very much!!!

Love,
p, j, c, and m

You know because that's just our luck!

Well folks, Surgery has been delayed. :( I have had to take a few days to write this post because I have been so very sad about this news, but I put my big girl panties on and pulled it together(at least for this post ;)). Anyway, Cameron's cold took a turn for the worse and Sunday he started coughing. I wasn't too surprised, honestly. The previous Wednesday Max started coughing this awful croupy cough, and even as much as I tried to keep them separate....... That just isn't possible, so when Cam started coughing on Sunday, I just prayed and prayed that it would stay out of his lungs and that we could nip the upper respiratory stuff in the bud..... Not the case. We have been at the Doctors the last two days, and after a chest x-ray and a yucky sounding lower left lung, pneumonia has been deemed the culprit. They gave him two doses in shot form of some antibiotic called rocephin, and started him on two other meds orally as well. They have us doing neb treatments, and sitting in the hot steamy shower room doing chest PT multiple times a day. I haven't slept more than two hours since Monday. I think I'm probably writing this in my sleep :) They are trying their best to get him cleared up, but after speaking with Boston, they wouldn't want to proceed with a surgery like Cam's until he has been clear(lung wise) for at least 3 weeks. So this means we are looking at mid to late December!

As sad and disappointed as I am that we will most likely be spending Christmas in Boston, I'm more sad about the anxiety leading to that point. You see, having a kid like Cameron means that surgery will always be a part of our lives, and for me that means anxiety and fear the months leading up to the surgery..... so to have a date, become set on that date, and then have that date have to be changed...... just makes my issues that much worse. Lucky for Cam, he has no idea. He is still just happy, sweet, Cam! Aside from this nasty bought of respiratory illness, he is still full of smiles. He feels the most crappy at night, but from what I understand that is to be expected. But I would love to ask for ya'll to send up some prayers for my little bud. Please pray that he can kick this viruses but, and that he is feeling much better in the near future!

I also just wanted to let everyone know how grateful Paul and I continue to be for your love and support. We have received offers to help us with Christmas, monetary donations, dinners, visits from friends, phone calls(which is more comforting and helpful than you know) texts, and love! We truly do feel so blessed to be surrounded by some incredible people, and we will never be able to thank you enough for your support during this time. As of now we don't have an exact date for Boston. We are going to see how the rest of the week goes and then Boston will work with us to get us scheduled again. When we talked at the beginning of the week, they said it would most likely be later in December. And if that is when it needs to be, then that's when it will be! Like I said before, this whole situation has been difficult for us, but the Lord is showing his grace and love for us through you, and your support and we are finding peace and comfort in incredible ways. Thank you so much for your continued love and prayers.

Love,
P, J, C, and M

Friends in "low" places

You know that country song by the infamous Garth Brooks, that says "I've got friends in low places...?" Well, that is the mantra for the way I've been feeling lately, and it has been such a blessing. A few days ago a dear friend who has been calling me, and asking how I've been feeling, and crying on the phone with me, asked me if I would like to go to breakfast. We live about an hour and a half apart from each other, so we decided that meeting half way would work, and yesterday she and I met and had the best breakfast I've had in a long time. It was the best not only because the food was awesome, but because she truly wanted to spend time with me, and to let me share my heart. We didn't just talk about Cam's upcoming surgery, we talked about life, and about our kids crazy antics. It was a nice distraction. I even made it through the entire breakfast without shedding a tear, until we started talking about Cam and this upcoming journey. But the most beautiful thing, and one of the most selfless things another person can do is to join you in those fears, and that is exactly what she did. So we sat and we cried together. It was so helpful for me, not only to cry.... but to be joined by a friend who really does care. During that time she also shared something that just really warmed my heart. She told me that she has been praying for God to show her how to be the kind of friend that I need right now. That was just precious to me. You see sometimes during things like this, your friends dissipate. They seem to disappear, and a game of hide and seek goes on until things are more back to normal and you aren't as "needy." I get it. I really do. It's easier to be friends with people that aren't facing struggle. It's easier to continue on in your everyday routine and try not to think about the hardships that your friends may be going through. I'm guilty of this as well. Not so much since Cameron came along, but guilty non the less. Don't get me wrong, I have several friends who call me, text me, send me funny little messages that make me laugh, and that offer continuous support, but then there are those friends that don't know what to say, and that just kind of ignore the situation, and wait until everything is over. Like I said before, I get it. It's not easy being friends with a mom of a special needs kid. We are always facing some kind of battle that unless you are also a parent of a special kiddo then you just can't relate. That's frustrating sometimes I'm sure. Being a friend is hard work, and unless the person means that much to you, sometimes it's easier to just be the kind of friend that's there when things are good. You see in true friendship it is a selfless, beautiful relationship that sometimes goes through rocky moments, but that is always met back up with endless love and support. I have always wanted to be a good friend. I have always wanted to make sure that my friends know how much they mean to me and that I would be glad to anything they needed. I truly do love being there for others, and I am grateful to do it. So sometimes I do get sad when I'm in a crisis such as this and I feel so lonely, because it's easier for others to just not have to deal with my "neediness" than to embrace it. But not this week. This week I needed a friend and without me even having to ask for one she was there. So for that I'm grateful.  

We are three weeks out from our December 1st departure date. It seems like forever and not long enough all at the same time. I am trying to tie everything up. Insurance is always a pain and usually isn't worked out until last minute, which just adds to my endless list of stress. And then there is the quarantine thing. Since the boys have been battling colds/fevers they haven't been in school this week, and since Friday was going to be their last day anyway, we have just decided to keep them home from now on. Keeping Cameron well until surgery is so very important, and since it's right in the middle of cold season, school is just a smorgasbourge of germs.... and I would rather be safe than sorry. I hate that for the boys though because they love school so very much. They are both always so excited to go to school and to be with their friends. But I just keep telling myself this is temporary and hopefully we will be home and the boys will be ready to head back to school after Christmas break!

I'm finding myself less and less sick to my stomach everyday. I am still full of anxiety, but I have been able to control some of that with rationale and wine :) I know that God already knows this outcome. He has seen this through and is ready to stand beside us as we venture through it as well. It doesn't make my heart ache any less when I let my mind think about what is coming, but it has been providing some peace during this time of desperation. I have had the awesome opportunity in the past few weeks to talk to some college classes that a friend of mine teaches. The class is about Cultural competency, and I come in to talk about individuals with physical and developmental differences not only from my personal experience but also in my professional as well. I get to share about Cameron and how we have faced adversity, and I also get to talk about the individuals I have had the privilege of working with, and how all anyone that has a physical or developmental difference wants is to be treated like everyone else. It's a simple human desire to be "included" and "loved" and it is such an honor for me to be able to help spread that message. Also anytime I get the chance to share our story with others it gives me a sense of pride and wonder for the family and life that I have, because setting aside all of our crazy life drama, we are so very, very blessed. Paul and I have a marriage that will last until forever, and we have two beautiful boys that are just so incredible and wonderful, each in their own way, and we have a house over our head, and food in our bellies. Because of the love and support from our family, friends, and community we are able to provide the best care for our precious boy, and because of our love for the Lord, we know that this is all in his time, and in his perfect plan. I know this and I know it's true, but sometimes it's so hard to have this unwavering faith that convinces me that all is going to be ok. It's just hard!

For those of you that follow and are reading my updates, there are some specific prayer requests I would love to ask you to pray for. Right now Cameron is still battling a cold and so is Max, so please pray for quick, complete healing. Also please continue your prayers for Paul and I as well. We have a lot to coordinate for this trip, and as you could imagine it's quite stressful trying to plan a trip like this, and so we could use all the good thoughts/prayers/well wishes we can get! We know that your love and support is what gets us through, so please know how much they mean. Every phone call, text, dinner, and word of encouragement is graciously accepted and sometimes so desperately needed! Also we are so very grateful for everyone that has ordered a Warriors for Cam shirt. We only have two days left so if you haven't gotten one and you want one they will be available until Friday. We love ya'll and we appreciate your love as well!

Love,
P,J,C, and M

Hott mess

It's been a rough couple of days in the Elliott house. Although not really for anyone but me. I have been an emotional mess. I hate feeling so out of control, and in this situation with Cameron's heart I have zero control. I can't control that his stenosis has increased. I can't control that the only option is Open Heart Surgery, and I can't control that because I am his mother, I can't just run away and hide from this issue. I have zero control, and that feeling is suffocating. I am pretty certain this is depression. I'm pretty sure that I have sunk down and that the pain that aches my soul is something I can't just snap out of. I am not sure why this is hitting me so hard. I'm not sure why I can't just get it the fuck together and stop moping around. I'm not sure why I feel like this is so much different from the ten other surgeries he has had. But no matter what the reason is for me to be like this, right now it's my reality. I'm a sad, pathetic, hot mess.

Along time ago I decided that I would not let my title of  "special needs mom" define me. In fact the words "special needs" sends chills up my spine because I don't define Cam as special needs, he is just Cam. But he is special... his needs are special. He is a product of unique molding that our heavenly father decided to design in him, and "special" is just a way to describe that. So therefore I am a mother of a child with special needs. And even though that isn't all that I am, when things like this in our life arise it certainly creates a constant reminder to me that in reality that is exactly what I am. I am so grateful however that through all of this I have been able to use our families journey as a bridge to help other families and other people going through struggle with insight and hope! I am still hopeful. I am still grateful. But right now I am also so very, very sad. I am so fearful, and anxious, and angry, that the desire of my heart to rise above this, is umbrella'd by these overwhelming feelings of hurt and anguish. I am not sure if I just need a good slap in the face, and for someone to tell me to put my big girl panties on, or if this is just the way I need to mourn right now. I am certain that this phase will pass. I know that crying all day is not an option. I know that feeling sorry for myself, and drowning myself in self pity and wine isn't an option either(although the wine does have a way of stopping the tears!!) Side note: I am not an alcoholic...... for those of you that are going to start sending me texts about the closest AA meeting :)

I am not in control. God is in control. God is going to be with me and is with me for this entire process. I know this, but I am having trouble feeling him. I am having trouble praying. I am having trouble believing sometimes. This week I had lunch with a friend, and we were talking about how people sometimes mention that God is a crutch to those that are facing difficult times, so that they have something bigger to believe in. I call bullshit. God is hard work! My faith is hard work! I have to strive to continue to believe in this Creator of All things who is all knowing and all loving. I have to gather all that is in me to continue to turn my eyes to my heavenly father when my heart aches and the things of this world are causing me such deep sorrow and pain. My faith is by no means a "crutch," because my FAITH is really hard work. And sometimes when bad things continue to happen I think about how easy it would be to lose my faith. How easy it would be to not find joy even in darkness. To not reach out to the ONE  that has seemingly forsaken me, that is supposed to love me to no depths, would be the easy way out. But it's because of my faith, it's because of God's love for me, and it's because of my awe struck wonder in the Holy Spirit, that even when broken and bruised I continue to have hope in the one that created me from the womb. The one that created and crafted Cameron and Max, and the one that will fill me with Peace when I allow my heart to accept his word. It's me that's the problem, not my Jesus. My Jesus is with me, even when I am not with him. And for those reasons, I still have Faith.

I know what Cameron's heart surgery entails. I know what the expected outcome is, and I know what the doctors are anticipating. But that doesn't stop me from reaching out to others that have had children Cam's age that have gone through Open Heart Surgery. I search the internet for blogs, and patient stories about their experiences, and when I read ones that are happy and wonderful, I smile. But then I read those few that didn't end as well. Or the ones where the child has a stroke during surgery(one of the risk of a bypass machine). Or I read about the ones where the heart was nipped in a wrong place during surgery and the child has severe complications and a very difficult time healing. I should 100% stop reading blogs. I know this, but my heart seeks those good stories. The ones that portray the one my heart so deeply desires. There are just so many variables and trying to convince my heart that my mind needs to move on is proving to be rather difficult.

On a side note, I have felt so blessed and humbled by the amount of support received with the t-shirt sales. We have sold 18 already, and we aren't even a week in. I know this is just another testament to God's grace, and that he is paving the way. I have also been asked by several folks if there would just be a way to donate to Cameron's medical fund aside from the t-shirts and because we didn't meet our goal with Cameron's GoFund me page, we are still able to have that up as well, so I will also be posting that as a way for those that choose to contribute in a different way. Honestly, my pride was set aside long ago, when I realized that doing this alone would be impossible. Getting Cameron the best care that he deserves would be impossible, and so for him, for my sweet precious boy I will do whatever needs to be done to provide this care for him. It's funny because a good friend mentioned to me the other day that I'm the only person in my own way. She was encouraging me to put Cameron's GoFund me site up and I was really struggling with doing that, because I honestly just feel like it looked like a charity case. The t-shirts made it more tangible. If you donate money you get something out of it. That was my thought process. With the GoFund me, it's just a donation. The person donating just has to trust that the money they donate goes to good use. But my friends point to me was that if people want to give, if they truly want to give, then they will, and they will give with no strings attached. And if they don't, then there is no one sitting their forcing their hand. So after that brief lecture, I realized that she was right, and that this is just another way to help us raise money to make this trip a little less financially stressful. If people want to give they will and if they don't, then no one is worse for the wear! Again, I seem to be the only person in my way.

Please continue to pray for us. Cameron has developed a cold, and he needs to be well rather soon so that this surgery can continue as planned. We all want him in his healthiest condition, and a snotty nose is not an option. Please continue to pray for peace, and grace and that Paul and I will start to feel more comfort moving forward. I love all of you so very much, and I am so very grateful for the calls, texts, and words of encouragement. We are so blessed that our t-shirt's are being sold and that we are going to have an incredible team of supporters rooting for Cam on his big day. So thank you. Also thank you for reading...... This blog has become an outlet for me during this time, and writing has been a vice that keeps me sane.... so thank you!

Love,
P, J, C, and M :)

Out with the Old

 

Its been a really long time since I've blogged about Cameron and our life. I guess there have been times when I wished I had kept up with blogging, but for the most part life has been(wonderfully) routine and aside from the life of a mom with a special needs child, I have been pleasantly surprised at how life has just become "normal."  Yea, sure, there are still the specialists appointments that we have to go to, and the extra precautions and steps we take when Cameron gets sick, but for the most part we have been incredibly blessed with a good run of happy and healthy. That is until now.

Back in July, at Cams routine 6 month check up with his cardiologist in Boston we learned that Cameron's sub aortic stenosis was a little worse. Nothing concerning, yet, but still on a trajectory that suggested another open heart surgery would be in Cameron's future. In November of 2011 Cameron had his first open heart surgery to repair the stenosis in hopes that it would resolve the issue. The surgery was terrifying for me, and I had a really hard time emotionally stabilizing myself to hand my precious 14 month old over to strangers who would then open his chest. But on November 10th I did just that. I handed him over and prayed for the Lord to keep him safe. Four hours later, the surgery was over and not long after that I was reunited with my sweet boy. He recovered very well, and five days later we were out of the hospital in hopes that this surgery would be the last as far as his heart was concerned. Unfortunately that brings us to now. And another OPEN HEART SURGERY.

A couple weeks ago we went for Cams 3 month echo that he has done here in NC, to make sure we were still stable. It showed that the stenosis had increased even more. It was a trivial increase, but it suggested that this is how it's going to continue and we are running out of room to allow it to increase anymore. Our Cardiologist here and I spoke for about an hour on what this meant, and that it was probably time to start thinking about surgery........and somewhat soon. 

Sometimes life has a funny way of hardening us. I'm not saying that my heart didn't break when the reality of another heart surgery was spoken out loud, but I just sat there. I wasn't sobbing, and stuttering my words. I wasn't asking questions that had no answers, I was just sitting there. I asked calm questions. I asked practical questions, and I kept myself together. It was a surreal moment. It was like my "real" self, the one that wanted to scream and grab Cam and run far away was above this other self that was sitting there, quiet and calm. I can't explain it any other way then that I am a different person. This was something I felt I knew was coming and I think the Lord has been preparing me for this news for awhile now. It's also the cruel, harsh reality that parents like myself face more often than ever desired. Children like Cameron are road maps for their journeys. Their scars mark them for everyone to see that they are no stranger to an operating room. I think his scars are magnificent testaments to how strong and brave he is, but they are also reminders to me of how weak and fragile I am when it comes to putting my sweet boy through yet another surgery.

Cameron's Open Heart Surgery has been scheduled for Monday, December 8th. Before his actual surgery we will need to be in Boston December 3rd for pre op for a catheter procedure that he will undergo on December 4th to hopefully get rid of a passageway that creates the SVT that causes his heart to beat so fast. If the electro physiologist can safely access the area then he will essentially zap it and that should stop his issues. However if the area is located near a sensitive part of the heart, then the cardiologist has informed us that the risk would be too high to fix it before Cams surgery. So in that case they will just leave it, and still proceed with surgery on Monday. The scary part is that if they are not able to fix the SVT during the Cath, then the chances of Cameron's heart having issues during and after surgery are increased. This could mean longer healing time and possibly a harder time managing him post operatively. All I know is that I'm praying for their ability to successfully ablate his SVT during this cath procedure. Please join me in saying that same prayer as well.

Cameron has no idea that he is facing another Heart Surgery. He is beautifully unaware. He will know something is up when we get to Boston for pre-op appointments, and he will be scared and fearful then, but for now, he is just happy and unaware. I on the other hand am constantly finding myself nauseous and full of fears. I know what my child is facing and when I allow myself to think about it for any period of time I start suffocating. We travel to Boston because it is the best in the world for this kind of stuff, and more specifically for kids like Cam. But even at the best place in the world things don't always go as planned, and when I allow that thought to creep through into my mind I come inches away from grabbing Cameron, and running away to someplace where this doesn't have to be faced. But the truth of it all is that it has to be faced. If Cameron doesn't have this surgery then his precious little heart will start failing. His precious body wont be able to sustain his efforts to play with trains and dump trucks, and he won't be able to run and play. Not a life I would want for my sweet boy that is so full of sunshine.

I cry. A lot. Not in front of anyone, not even my husband. I cry alone. I cry in the shower so no one can hear. I cry when I'm doing laundry and the boys are napping. I cry when I'm driving to Walmart to get groceries. I cry and I pray. I pray because God has got this. He is in control. He is the one that is calling the shots in this life, and I want him to know how very angry I am at him for putting my sweet boy through this again. I want him to know how scared and worried I am. I want him to understand how much I hate him for putting my family through this. I also pray to tell him how much I love him. How much I am grateful for. How much I need him to show me mercy and peace. I pray for a miracle, but mostly I pray that he will use this for his glory and that he will bring my sweet boy through this surgery successfully and healthy. I pray for him to help me and give me the strength to get myself out of bed everyday so that I can take care of my family. I pray that he is gracious and loving and that this will all be ok. I pray and I cry.

We will be leaving December 1st to make the drive to Boston. We are driving because after heart surgery it's not very safe for Cam to fly, so we get to make the 14 hour trek by car. With a four year old and a two year old, please pray for our sanity, haha!! We will drive half way then stay in a hotel and then the next morning we will drive the remainder. December 3rd will start our journey and December 8th we will hand our sweet precious boy over for another open heart surgery. They estimate that a hospital stay of 7-10 days is average and then we will have to stay in town a couple of days until his follow up. So in total we are looking at spending the majority of December in Boston. It is what it is. But it still sucks! Starting today we will be selling t-shirts that read "Warriors 4 Cam". Not only will this help us with expenses for this trip, but I also want those that purchase a shirt to wear them on the day of Cams surgery. During his first Open Heart this exact thing occurred and it really made me feel less helpless knowing that so many people were praying for Cam! The t-shirts will be available to order online and once the fundraiser is over, the shirts will ship out and be received within two weeks. We are planning on running it for two weeks so that everyone will be able to receive their shirts by the end of November, and more importantly so that they will have them for surgery day.

I am so proud every day that I get to be Cameron's mom. I am so amazed at the obstacles he has overcome, and at how he perseveres in spite of his limitations. He has been through more in his tiny little life than most, and yet he continues to smile and shine this beautiful light that makes you fall in love with him every time you see him. He is a WARRIOR. Please join me in praying for our family. Please pray that this time before surgery that Cameron stays well. Please pray for mine and Paul's hearts. We are scared and so sad for our little boy, and we would covet your prayers for peace. Please pray for this surgery to be a success and for this to be the last heart surgery he will ever need! We are so grateful to all of you that pray for and love our boy. We are grateful for everyone that has helped us along this journey, whether that be financially, spiritually, physically, or

emotionally. We love you all. Thank you for your continued support and love. We will continue to keep everyone updated on this journey and if you have any questions.......please don't hesitate to ask!

Love,
Paul, Jess, Cam, and Max!